The Daily Dozen 5.26.20

Yesterday, a white woman in Central Park was called out by a Black birdwatcher for not keeping her dog on a leash, then called the police and said an African American man was about to harm her. In response, the cops said, “You sure you’re not a cop?”

Yep, video of the woman’s tirade was filmed by a black man. So, I guess it won’t be nominated for an Oscar.

After the woman was identified, people went online and called for her to be fired from her job for being racist. You know, so she can…spend more time online being racist.

Police finally did respond to the situation, but didn’t actually do anything. Which is why today, they were hired by Twitter.

 

In a new interview, Woody Allen opened up about how the stay-at-home order has affected his life. I’m gonna take a guess: not at all?

 

A new poll found that just one in five teachers plan to return to the classroom this fall. While substitute teachers plan to press play on the movie they brought from their car.

 

The pandemic forced rental car company Hertz to file for bankruptcy. Workers knew there was trouble when the CEO sold his house and rented a car.

If you rented from Hertz, you might want to check your reservation. While if you rented a car with Budget, the pandemic will be over by the time you’re at the front of the line.

 

Speaking of cars, a woman in Georgia posted photos of a turtle that came crashing through her windshield on the highway. Even worse? Didn’t even say “Cowabunga.”

 

Apple may remove charging ports from iPhones. The way it works is, phones will begin to charge wirelessly on the exact same day LaGuardia finishes its charging station.

 

A supercomputer simulated the impact of the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs. Developers said, “So if you ever wanted to see the end of a species ruled by a tiny-handed predator aaaaaand we’ll just stop talking.”

But a lot about the Earth has changed since the asteroid struck. At the time, just three members of Aerosmith were alive to sing about it.

 

An animatronics maker Florida is remaking Dook the drummer from the 80s kids’ chain Showbiz Pizza. He’s done a pretty good job….

Here’s Dook before:

Dook the Dog.jpg

Now here he is after:

Stamos drumming.jpg

Enimem posted his phone number online for fans. You can tell he’s gotten bored in Quarantine, because after a while people say, “Will the Real Slim Shady please hang up?”

 

And lastly, the NBA is in the final stages of resuming, but there will be some changes since it’s at Disney World. Like instead of saying a guy’s “ice cold,” they’ll say he’s “gone Walt.”

 Jon