A group of researchers is developing a plan to test for COVID-19 by sneezing into a phone. The way it works is, you sneeze repeatedly into your phone and show up on the next season of “Crank Yankers.”
A photo went viral showing Mayor Bill de Blasio talking to New Yorkers in Central Park:
That looks like Mr. Rogers starring in his own WrestleMania “Boneyard Match.”
That looks like an NPR host asking for help assembling a grill outside Home Depot.
You can’t tell, but he’s telling the guy on the bike, “Please put on a shirt, Mayor Giuliani.”
Pier 1 announced it will be shutting down permanently. Makes sense – how is a chain that sells home furnishings expected to thrive when literally everyone’s stuck in their homes?
And the Belmont Stakes will take place in June without spectators. Of course there are some concerns, like what if we can hear the horses swear?
That’s right, there won’t be any spectators at the Belmont Stakes. And instead of jockeys, each horse will be ridden by a mannequin from J.C. Penney.
Today would have been wrestling legend Andre the Giant’s 74th birthday. And I bet if he were alive today, he’d look at Trump and say, “Yikes – who’s the giant??”
President Obama will not attend his official portrait unveiling in the White House. He said it had less to do with Trump, and more with no one believing that’s actually him.
And South Korea says Kim Jong Un has not been seen for weeks. Oh yeah? Then how do you explain the Cameo he sent my mom for Mother’s Day??
A woman in New Zealand taught her dog how to perform CPR. Which sounds cool, until you hear she also taught it how to run to victims in slow motion.
Keep Yourselves Up,
Jon