Just opened up my Weather app and it said, “Hahaha - good one.”
Anyway…
Health experts are still urging us to practice social distancing. And as a rule of thumb, they say you should stay as far away from strangers as Dr. Fauci stays from President Trump.
Trump is still facing criticism for his handling of the pandemic, though he did urge people to observe Sunday Mass online. I’m not sure he gets it; today, he asked for the words to “the Apollo Creed.” “And I believe in one Rocky, the one where he’s bullied by Russians…”
As you may know, I have rheumatoid arthritis – and since it’s an autoimmune disease, I’ve had to isolate and FaceTime with my daughter. But she’s given me the cutest nickname: “Boring Shark.”
And oh, hey sharks? I hear David Geffen is especially ripe this season. 🎵Doo doo, doo doo, doo doo! 🎵
Someone suggested video games as a way to take a break from writing. I was hesitant, but I must admit that in the time it’s taken each game to update, I’ve done a lot of writing.
But even the video games have changed. When you’re “on fire” in NBA Jam, a doctor shows up to take your temperature. “Stay in your ROOM-SHAKALAKA!”
And when they hear their names are Mario and Luigi – the turtles run from them.
BUT FOLKS!...
There is a silver lining: in all the hours I’ve spent alone, I’ve managed to get almost halfway through Bob Dylan’s JFK song. (I’m up to him living in Boston. Or, meeting Stone Cold Steve Austin – hard to tell BECAUSE OF THE AWFUL MUMBLING.)
I read that police in Rhode Island are actually going door-to-door, hunting down New Yorkers seeking refuge. Coming this holiday season, from the Farrrelly Brothers!
Yeah, cops in Rhode Island are going door-to-door seeking people who may be infected. Or as that’s also known, “sick-or-treat.”
People are still mad at the spring breakers down in Florida. Everyone agrees they’re being foolish and ignorant aaaaaaaaand Mike Love just wrote a song about how cool they are. 🎵“We’re coughin’, we’re sneezin’, playin’ in the breeze ‘n then we’re burnin’, we’re blotchy, not just in our crotchies…” 🎵
Actually, people throughout the world have been singing out their windows as a way to entertain others, and get them to join in. But when a man tried it in New York, someone yelled “Shut the f*** up!” People say that may be Governor Cuomo’s best advice yet.
Knicks owner James Dolan tested positive for COVID-19. But don’t worry – today, it demanded a trade.
And lastly, experts are saying cats can test positive for the coronavirus. On the bright side, that’s the first positive thing I’ve heard about “Cats.”
Keep Yourselves Up. Ed: thank you. Sadie was dancin’, and I got teary. Love you guys.
-Jon
(In case it doesn’t cue…go to 23:10)