Next week is Christmas! My new favorite song: “Baby It’s The Same as it Was During Easter Inside.”
I love the story of Christmas – when Mary was turned away by the inn and had to give birth at Three Wise Men Total Landscaping.
You get one of the Trump Advent Calendars? Each day, he loses a different state again.
The Associated Press had to correct a story where they referred to Joe Biden as Jose Biden. Yep, they said, “The President-Elect’s name is not Jose Biden” – then Biden said, “On my anniversary it is!”
Ted Cruz is leading a group of lawmakers who want to put a Space Command center in Texas. That’s 2020 for you – Ted Cruz is worried about space while Tom Cruise is trying to stop COVID.
Mike Pence will receive his COVID shot on live TV. Provided they agree to pixelate his bare arm. “Close your eyes just in case, Mother!”
Scientists say that cats recover remarkably fast from COVID. Or more accurately, as soon as you leave them alone, cats stop pretending to have COVID.
During lockdown, robots are making food deliveries in West Hollywood. Or as they put it, “I’m just doing this until ‘Transformers’ can resume production.”
Governor Phil Murphy said the next few weeks are going to be hell in New Jersey. Then he said, “And the COVID’s gonna be bad, too.”
A new survey found that half of remote workers admit to drinking during weekdays. I was shocked – I said, “People can still tell when it’s a weekday??”
Giannis Antetokounmpo just signed the biggest deal in NBA history to stay with the Bucks. Then the guy who stitches names onto Miami Heat jerseys said, “Oh, thank God.”
Giannis Antetokounmpo will make 228 million dollars. In fact he’s so rich, he can buy enough vowels to spell Giannis Antetokounmpo.
This day in 1773 was the Boston Tea Party. It’s the day a bunch of guys filled the harbor with the beverage Boston’s famous for loving: tea.
Hey, speaking of adult content out of Boston…
Us lads over at ASSkills just launched a REVAMPED SITE with something cool coming soon. And we need testers! So, if you’d like a free pass, send me an e-mail and I’ll send you a link for the BEST kind of ASS: some *free* ASS.
Also, thanks to the folks at Vanyaland for this wonderful article about the project!
Keep Yourselves Up,
Jon