Today is Thanksgiving, and because of COVID-19, health experts said visiting your relatives could kill them. Which backfired when people said, “You promise?”
This year, my family got together over Zoom. But I thought it was a little mean they made me put my laptop at the kids’ table.
Today was the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. No thanks – if I wanted to see some cartoons filled with hot air, I’d hire Trump’s legal team.
After the parade was the National Dog Show. It featured a bunch of new breeds – including the Barbet, the Dogo Argentino, and my favorite – the Late-80’s Lucy:
Even Giuliani was like, “What the hell’d he do to his hair??”
That’s the actual dog in the upcoming “Clifford” movie. I guess the newest innovation in CGI is “toss a puppy into the dryer with a Santa suit.”
I just feel bad for the mailman who always has to explain why he has lipstick on his leg.
President-Elect Biden has begun naming members of his cabinet. And after he rattled off “Snap, Crackle and Pop” Kamala said, “Know what? You’re busy, I’ll handle this…”
Biden’s dealing with a conspiracy theory called “The Great Reset,” which states COVID-19 was a setup to enslave humanity and end capitalism. Biden denied this, saying the only time he resets is when he loses at NBA Jam. “Boom-shacka-MALARKEY!!”
Former “Jeopardy” contestant Ken Jennings will handle hosting duties after the passing of Alex Trebek. It’s touching to think of a former contestant taking over for a game show host – until you wind up at “President Meat Loaf.”
Tomorrow is Black Friday, and many stores are offering curbside pickup. Because when I think of violence that normally ensues on Black Friday, I say, “Let’s add vehicles to this!”
Never mind Black Friday - what about Small Business Saturday? That’s what we are at Anti-Social Skills, so check out our new store! (Another very exciting digital announcement on the way…)
Oh right, there’s one more thing I have to announce…
On Tuesday, December 1 at 7:30, I will be hosting a live game for…
THE BOSTON COMEDY FESTIVAL!!! 🦞
TICKETS HERE!!!
And wait til you see who we’ve got playing. (If you’re a “Late Night” nerd like me…)
Happy Thanksgiving!!! Go Kill Some A.S.S!!!
Jon