There was a lot to talk about this weekend. You had the extended Snyder Cut of “Justice League” and the extended Florida cut of the pandemic:
(It was her day to wear the state’s mask.)
When asked how to stop a spike, Dr. Fauci said, “Fill Splash Mountain with the vaccine?”
Mobs of spring breakers forced Miami to declare a State of Emergency. Which is confusing, as that’s also Florida’s official nickname.
At one point, a shirtless man painted like The Joker jumped on top of a car, declared COVID over, and made it rain with dollar bills. People said, “I hope the governor’s happy” – then officials said, “That was the governor.”
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo announced the first case of a so-called Brazilian variant of the disease – marking Cuomo’s least offensive use of the term “Brazilian.”
Chuck Todd angered many by referring to Joe Biden as “Mr. Biden” rather than “President Biden.” Whereas the name “Chuck Todd” describes what you’d like to do to Chuck Todd.
Biden’s been criticized for banning staffers from smoking weed. People called it completely unacceptable – then got back to complaining that the largest vaccine rollout ever was taking too long. “Speed things up! But also, keep smoking weed!”
By now you’ve seen Biden impersonating all of us after getting the second shot and tripping up the steps on the runway. Man, Trump’s gonna laugh so hard at that once he makes it to the bottom of that ramp.
It got even worse when Biden reached the top and it was a Southwest flight to Cleveland.
Cuomo was like, “Hey, stepping up, stepping down – we all fail at one or the other.”
Andrew Cuomo still hasn’t resigned as governor, despite some calling his political career dead. Of course since Cuomo is governor, the death was never reported.
Restaurants in New York were using wax figures from Madame Tussauds to fill empty booths for social distancing. It gets awkward when the wax figure looks 20 years older than it did in its Tinder profile.
And it was announced baseball stadiums in New York can be filled to 20 percent capacity. The Yankees say it’s tough turning fans away, while the Mets asked to borrow wax figures from Madame Tussauds.
Chris Christie just joined the Mets’ board of directors – meaning the players now work for the former Governor. Wow – the last time Christie ordered a Grand Slam, it was at Denny’s.
Christie’s first order of business was closing off a section of the ballpark – then allowing his friends and family to spend the day there.
When asked if the Mets will contend, Christie said, “Nah – it’s more of a bridge year.”
Congrats baseball fans! You just witnessed a Chris Christie TRIPLE PLAY! ⚾
There was a scary moment when LeBron James injured his leg, then knocked a chair over in frustration. LeBron avoided serious injury, while the chair was called for two fouls and ejected for life.
Pope Francis warned Catholics against organized crime cashing in on the pandemic. Then he said, “And give what you can during the second collection to…help people during the pandemic…”
And lastly: it was announced that Donald Trump will be launching his own social networking site in three to six months. The way it works is you upload a photo of yourself, the FBI matches it with the on of you at the Capitol, and you serve three to six years.
Hey! Stop looking on the “Podcasts” page – why would it be there? HERE IS THE LINK to the podcast I do each week with Ben Zieper, “Here’s What People Are Talking About,” where we’ve covered everything from Fallon to strokes to standup. Listen, rate, review, subscribe. (Also available on Spotify and other podcast depositories.)
But much more importantly, check out this WONDERFUL PARENTING BLOG from my own sister, Stephanie Rineman-Lin. Truly now more than ever, it’s something from which many could learn.
Keep Yourselves Up,
Jon